Posts tagged aha moment
The End is Never the End
ROB 10 000

(Reading time: 1,5')

I met Rob after hearing about his captivating story on a podcast.

He had embarked on a journey to meet 10 000 people and was staying in Long Beach and swinging by LA pretty often. Great timing.

We decided to meet up in a coffee place and chat, I was number 1900 on his list. When I arrived, he had an enormous smile and sparkly eyes, as if we had met before. 

“I was raised in a tight knit family in Norristown, Pennsylvania, right outside Philly. It’s a small town where everyone knows everyone. I also had a great group of friends in college, so I’ve always enjoyed human connections. Therefore, when I started traveling, it was missing having friendly faces around. 

I thought: 'how fun would it be if I knew people everywhere I’d go? Having a place to stay at, someone to show me around, or just be able to walk around and saying hi to people on the street. Feeling home. Feeling connected?'

So I decided to expand my circle of friends. I set the goal of meeting 10 000 people for an hour each, to get to know them. I started 3 years ago, back when I was still working full-time. I’d meet strangers in the evenings and on the weekends”. 

I asked why he was so enticed to meeting strangers when other people had rather maintaining a close circle of friends, focusing on tight bonds rather than quantity.

“I think it's difficult to create a set definition for friendship because there are different levels of friendship. For the purpose of my project, I simply define it as treating each other like old pals for the hour that we're together and leaving the door open to become better friends in the future.

I spend an hour one-o-one quality conversation getting to know them, not preparing anything, not following a guideline, not asking pre-determined questions. I like the concept of being surprised by people’s personalities and lifestyles.

I try and maintain bounds with all of them and naturally relationships can evolve into closer friends, business or even romantic relationships, who knows! I leave it to faith and go with the flow”.

I asked if he had any plans on monetizing his project. 

“I do not set any expectation nor have a strategy for the moment. I just want to spend genuine quality time with people and see where it leads. I am confident that this project will keep expanding and that I’ll be able to start traveling and do this for a living within a couple months.

I trust that things will work out because I know that I am on the right path. I’m not worried for the future, I stay positive as I know there’s always a solution to anything.

In fact, the motto I live by is: 'the end is never this end'”.

Say it with a Queen's Letter
queen's letters

I've written a bunch of articles on the topics of "Speaking Up" and realized that it can be difficult to know where to start. Especially when you have felt disrespected, have not been able to react on the spot and keep thinking about it.

The other day, my girlfriend came up with a hilarious & witty concept.

The Queen's Letters.

The concept is simple: when you want to set someone straight, whether a lover, a friend, a colleague or literally anyone who recently messed with you, you prepare a queen's letter. Forget about ghosting.

Here is the template.

- Example 1: X makes promises to do business together but never follows up.

1. Start with kind words that you really mean:

Hey X, I hope that you are well. I really value you as a ... & am looking forward to ... project.

2. Say it straight out:

But I'm writing to you to inform you that in order to build a professional relationship with me, I require trustworthiness and reliability. You have not followed up on the project several times so am kindly asking you to only promise what you can execute on.

3. Warning (optional)

If you can't come to terms with this, we won't be able to work together.

4. Add something gentle & close:

If you're still in, please let me know if we can finally set a straight date for our meeting. Take care, talk soon

_________________

- Example 2: X tells his friends that you're hitting on him.

1. Start with kind words that you really mean (the shit sandwich):

"Hey X, hope you're well, just to clarify things: you're a great friend and I consider you as being part of my close circle of people that I respect and trust.

2. Say it straight out:

But I am 0% attracted to you and never have been / will be.

3. Add something gentle & close:

Sorry if you misunderstood my behavior. If you have any question, feel free to reach out to me directly, thanks!"

_______________________

- Example 3: X is dating you but has been disrespectful on various occasion

1. Start with kind words that you really mean (the shit sandwich):

"Hey X, you know I really like you.

2. Say it straight out (mention what happened if need be, sometimes guys don't realize consequences of what they say/do):

I was thinking about what happened earlier today & you have crossed the line with insensitive behavior. In order to be with me, I require positive language/attitude moving forward".

3. Add something gentle & close:

Call me if you want to talk more.

Note: the amount of gentle Vs straightforward words really depends on your communication style.

Voilà!

Queen's letters do the job.

We've cleared the air and set our personal and professional boundaries various times using this technique. Surround yourself with people who respect you and care about you.

Try it out and let me know how it went in the comments below ;)

 

What if I Ran Away?
ranaway

If I ran away... Would you catch me?


Would you hold on to what we commenced?


Would you take my hand to explore what the world wants us to see?
Would you let your soul expand from new perspectives & your body shudder under my breath?
Would you let me take you to the steepest mountain, the darkest forest, the gleamiest sea?
Would you let my passion devour you endlessly?
Would you become the person you were afraid to be?


Or would you let me go?

Pretending that put a shell on a long time ago.
Pretending that you never felt anything more than lust.

Pretending that it was impossible between us?