Posts tagged rejection
See the Bigger Picture
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One day, as I was discussing how dog-friendly California is, with a friend in San Francisco, he told me about the dog he used to have and his "out of the ordinary" behaviour, to say the least.

"My parents had me quite late, in their early 40’s, especially by the standards 30 years ago.

At the time of my arrival, my sister had a Doberman, Rhett, named after a character from the movie “Gone with the wind”. Naturally he became a family dog that grew attached to my parents, who took care of him the most. 

By the time I was born he became very jealous of me, a newborn in the house getting all of the attention...

Doberman are very territorial and a lot of them have neurotic tendencies, and this one was no exception. He started to display growing frustration and hostility towards me. He began to lash out at my parents as well when they would attend to me. It went as far as blocking the doorway to my bedroom not letting anyone attend to my cries. 

I know this might sound crazy but I think me crying in my crib and keeping everyone away from me he was perhaps hoping I would die...

Rhett was a very smart dog. One summer he stayed at my grandma's house. He woke her up in the night tugging away at her to get her attention. When she got up she discovered there was a gas leak from the stove. He saved her life that night.

In the meantime, his behaviour towards me was escalating out of control so my parents ended up tragically giving him away to our close family friends. This way they could visit him frequently yet I wouldn’t be exposed to him. 

 

Even now It’s hard to imagine that my existence meant his separation.

 

As years went by when we'd visit Rhett, I’d try to pet him and every time he would get irritated shaking me off instantly. I didn’t know why this dog would reject me when all I wanted was to hug and pet him. 

It took me many years to understand his behaviour and feelings towards me but when I understood the context explaining his behavior, I stopped blaming myself, rather got impressed at his intellectual capabilities".

Funny how we automatically question ourselves and feel responsible when somebody (whether dog or human by the way ;)) displays hostility towards us.

Often, the vibe just isn't there, but quite as often, it's a matter of jealousy..

Think about it, when somebody tries to put you down, instead of questioning yourself - what do you have that they don’t?
Never Fear, Never Wait, Never Regret
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I met Sam while sitting with a friend in a coffee shop in Venice. He was nonchalantly doing a handstand in the middle of the inner garden.

We applauded him and he approached us, asking if he could "do something to make us happy, to cleanse his soul"...

Apparently, he had been doing certain things he felt guilty for earlier that morning, and wanted to make up for it somehow. He had an infectious energy and attractive vibe.

We asked for tips with job searching as I was applying for various positions and afraid of rejection...

That's when he brought up a challenge he had just initiated: 30 days of rejection.

Ask something for 30 days, for which you expect people to say no to.

So the point is that after that month, thanks to the power of asking, he'll likely not care at all about people's opinions, and dare to ask for what he wants without fear. 

We brought him home that day and made some art - his painting "Fuck fear" is standing on my side table as I speak, as a gentle reminder.

Turns out. He used to be scared. He used to be shy and he used to be afraid to ask for what he wanted. 

But he's been in situations where he HAD to ask for a hand. Robbed, with $1.87 left on his account and no place to stay at. Or newly landed in unknown grounds with no friends and without speaking the language. But he always figured it out. 

He's also been experiencing the other extreme of the scale, hanging out with billionaire Emiratis in Dubai, flying in private jets, partying on yachts and staying at Burj Al Arab, and understood that all the money, power and fame in the world won't make up for a life truly lived and experienced to its fullest.

Sam took me on a skydiving adventure shortly after to prove to me that I could overcome anything...

Listen to his story and challenges on this third podcast episode.

Find your way in the episode:

0:00 Moving to the States with no plans, no English, no place to stay at and no friends

1:55 The Rejection Therapy

4:00 The 30-Day challenge

10:00 How the journey started

Never fear - never wait - never regret.
— Sam Polyvyanny