Posts in Epicurianism
"If you Don't Grow Yourself, you Won't Grow your Business" - Mindset & Money Talk with Chris Lavish
All photos by  Cassell Inc.

All photos by Cassell Inc.

Never under the influence, always influencing
— Chris Lavish

When I heard of Chris Lavish for the first time, Global Digital Director at Fashion Week Online, I thought “Not only does this guy unapologetically say what he thinks, but he has a style that’s impossible to copy. And he escaped the 9/5, And he’s woke. And vegan. And spiritual…”

#Tribe!

I wanted to investigate more about the Lavish signature and learn:

-> What led the self-called “intergalactic tattoo module” to stop caring about people’s opinions to become his true self,

-> How he unlocked the money energy and the mindset that allowed him to access the traveling & influencer lifestyle that "many dream of, but few work for”.

The conversation turned into a podcast with one of the most genuine and fun persons I’ve met, filled with inspiration and motivational quotes.

Find your Way in the Episode:

0:30 - How making money affects your biochemistry

3:00 - Why you have to know how much you’re worth

6:30 - Morning & evening routine

9:45 - Chris’ fashion journey

11:30 - Pleasing yourself comes first

13:00 - Truth in the media & why how much you care will dictate how far you go in life

17:00 - How the universe rewards you for living freely

26:00 - Can you work AND be happy? + Why you should avoid the 9/5

“The way you start your day is the way you start your life”

Chris Lavish’ tips to conquer the day:

  1. Wake up as early as possible

  2. Stretch, foam-roll

  3. Exercise to get the body active

  4. Drink water

  5. Take a really cold water

  6. Kill the day!

Some delicious quotes from Chris Lavish, for when you need a little extra motivation to crush your goals:

MONEY

“Which language am I fluent in? Money talk”

“Money is the only way you’ll ever free yourself from both yourself and what other people think”

SELF-LOVE

“If you want to be everybody else, you’ll never be yourself”

“Caring will dictate how far you go in life. If you care too much, you’ll kill yourself out of money.”

“It’s impossible to make someone happy - You’re better off trying to please yourself, at least you know you better.”

“You can’t please everyone, but as long as you please yourself you’ll be alright.”

VALUING YOURSELF

“You have to know how much you’re worth, or else you’ll always get underpaid”

“I’m close to priceless, or to some people im just completely free.”

MENTAL FREEDOM

“I escaped that mental prison a long time ago and never looked back”.

“Mental freedom is the first step and then you just pick your path”.

HUSTLE

“The way you start your morning is the way you start your life”

“You expect too much and work too little”.

“I’ve never met anybody who works 24/7 and never got somewhere”

“If you don’t grow yourself, you won’t grow your business”

Find more of Chris on Instagram:

Chris Lavish Instagram

Chris Lavish Instagram

"Love is in the Air" - Interviewing a Hot Air Balloon Pilot in Cappadocia
Helene Cappadocia
 

During my last trip to Turkey, I headed to Cappadocia with a girlfriend to watch one of the most beautiful sceneries that exist… To witness hundreds of hot air ballon rides at sunrise. After this magical experience, she introduced me to her air balloon pilot, Erdal.

“I love my job. I’ve done this for 5 years and havent complained a single time. Not a single time have I though: “I don’t want to go to work today”. I dreamed to fly and the fact that I get to experience that on a daily basis makes me speechless. Also, bringing smiles onto people’s faces gives me energy… Most ladies even cry of happiness.

I’ve understood that it doesn’t matter how much you charge, whatever you do, put your heart into it. Working a low-paid job that you love means more than having a high-salary and being stressed because you hate what you do.

Chiefs can cook the same meal with the same ingredients, but the flavor will be different depending on wether they cook with love.

Cappadocia balloon story

I get it. Money should be the number one priority for a business. However, the way I handle mine is as follows: first safety, then making people happy, then money (if I deserve it). I was a florist before and had the same feeling - I went the extra mile to create this wow sensation in people’s eyes. That gave me the feeling I was successful and should keep going.

Now as a pilot, yes, people pay me for my service, but in return they get something that they cannot touch, taste or smell. Yes, it’s partly visual. Still, they FEEL it in their bones. It’s an experience.

They will enjoy the scenery either way, for sure. I want to enhance that through connection. Tourists come from their country for something specific, they have a dream, they want to be happy, escape their daily stress and pressure, relax…

So I love to create emotional switches, to make them forget about their problems and let go of their fears. Fear of height is psychological. They are nervous at the beginning, so I say that the name of the balloon is “Titanic” and start playing the music, they laugh and we drop the pressure instantly.

Then once up in the air, I ask them: “Are you happy? If not, I can open the floors for you!” Those little changes of emotions make them more present in the moment. I am not giving them a fancy car or a house, I am sharing an experience that creates genuine happiness.”

hot air ballon turkey

As I place my hand close to my face, Erdal notices the butterfly tattoos on my wrist. “Interesting, a butterfly. This symbolizes that life is short. I remind myself of this constantly. My silver lining happened in 2005, after a break-up because I was selfish.

It taught me to always try to be nice and express my love with others. Everybody knows how much they love but never how much they are loved.

Therefore, I’ve designed the enveloppes of my air balloons with smiley faces with heart-eyes and I’m currently designing one that says on it “Love is in the air”.”

Love is not a person. It just is there. Inside of you. It’s in the air all around us. And anyone can feel it too, once they switch their perspective."

air balloon story
Seeing Life as a Game can Help You Getting Outside of Your Comfort Zone

In this episode, I've interviewed Hanine Mhannd, the creator of Goodbye Comfort Zone, a blog and app to help you see life as a game and reach your your highest potential through daily challenges and with the help of gamification techniques.

Hanine started 2017 by giving himself a new challenge for a year, such as stopping sugar, meditating, skydiving or shaking stranger’s hands, in the hope of becoming gradually more confident, efficient, healthier, etc.

In this interview, he shares his story with us on what led him to go from one extreme to another and completely transform his life into an exciting adventure, how he went from almost giving up on life to grabbing the bull by the horns and facing fear to reach higher levels, like in a game. Hanine is now a conference speaker on the topic of Comfort Zone.


Here are Hanine’s top 3 tips to stop procrastinating and stepping outside of our comfort zone:

  • Add external stimuli to measure your advancement, for example by announcing your goals publicly

  • Add hazard and excitement, for instance draw your daily activities from a hat

  • Surround yourself with mentors, mentees and people at the same level as you and with the same objective

"Follow Your Heart & Enjoy Your Life" - Talking Money with a Care-Free Balinese
Estimated reading time: 2'

Estimated reading time: 2'

 

I met Miloone on my last day on Gili Trawangan island, Indonesia, he was the friend of the hotel manager.

I had not been able to take out cash from multiple ATMs the previous night and it was time to check-out.

Like most places out there, they don’t accept debit cards, and I was slightly panicking at the idea of being stranded on an island with no money, and the embarrassment of not being able to pay for my room. Every backpacker’s nightmare.

Miloone offered to walk me to the bank. He was walking barefoot on the concrete, serene.

On the way, he insisted on getting me water.

 

“Don’t stress, just relax. Think about the moment. You are in beautiful Bali, look around you!

Personally, I am an introvert, and I like to observe what is happening around me and take it all in. 

I’ve lived in New Zealand and in Lombok (i.e. the closest big city in Indonesia). 

Over there, people worried about money too much.

It was all about competition, and making money, but they didn’t enjoy the moment, they barely spent them with their family, or in nature. 

It was too intense for me.

I moved back because I was looking for freedom. I found my freedom here.”

 

I asked how he defined freedom.

 

“It’s a peace of mind. I can be free to be me. Without caring about having people judge me. Without caring about what my salary is.

Without feeling the pressure of being better than the person next to me.

Here, we do not worry about money as much. At least, less people do.

If a friend or family member needs help, we’ll support him. 

We are all in this together, different but the same.

And if I ever feel the need to unwind, I can walk to the beach and look at the sea. It’s the most relaxing thing I know.

So for your situation, don’t be scared, let life happen, don’t let the ego take control, follow your heart instead. You’ll figure it out, you always do”.

 

I knew he was right, but I also was starting to think of the different ways to solve my situation and could not really focus on anything else.

 

We arrived at the bank. The bills came out.

 

I offered to pay back the water.

“Next time. You’ll be back. You know… Bali is dangerous”, he said.

“Why?”

“Because when people leave, they remember. He pocks at his temple.

They remember our mindset”.

If it Doesn't Feel Right, it Probably Isn't
Estimated reading time: 3'

Estimated reading time: 3'

 

We've all seen a lot of publications around sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and general disrespect of women lately, with the #Metoo campaign.

I come a little bit late in the game, but I am tired of witnessing red flags and seeing men behaving like predators. I am tired of having to stand up for myself as a woman, having to set limits because they've been crossed, and having to comfort my girlfriends for the same reasons.

So I've decided to share a few examples of red flags (true stories), from my experience, from soft to risky:

Situation 1: you are on a date. Your date spends more time looking at your breast and your bottom when you turn around, rather than listening to your conversation. And when a bunch of girls passes you, he literally turns his head back. No surprise there. Oh and in case you wondered, it was not a Tinder date. And I did not wear revealing clothes.

Situation 2: you walk up the street with heavy bags from the supermarket. A car stops. The dude asks you to come closer so he can talk to you... You naively think he wants to offer his help. Instead, he tells you (warning - raw language): "Don't move, I will come back to break your legs and lick your pussy until you scream". You're so confused you forget to note down his license plate.

Situation 3: you are interviewing for a job. The HR advises you to not look under the table. 

Situation 4: you apply for a model gig and meet the 70 y.old manager in a cafe. He asks for your cup size for the bikini you are going to wear, and before you have time to answer, he swiftly grabs your breasts to "measure himself". 

Situation 5: you book a massage online. Turns out the massage takes place in a private home, and the therapist spends an awkwardly long amount of time massaging your upper thighs. 

Situation 6: you are in a cab in Mexico, middle of the jungle, no network and no soul in the streets. The car driver puts his hand on your leg. You push him away and pray.

I have experienced a million small situations like that. But despite the red flags, I kept going for it. I saw this guy again, I kept seeking those jobs, I stayed in the car.

And worse, most times, I did not speak up.

Why? Low self-esteem? Probably. Fear of making the other person uncomfortable? Definitely. 

At the moment, I knew exactly what to do, I knew exactly what to say. I was screaming inside of my head.

But I got paralyzed. Shame was taking over. I thought I had misunderstood. It thought it was not real.

Earlier in January, three of my friends confessed having been raped.

But that's not what shocked me the most.

What shocked me the most was that they KEPT HANGING OUT with the predators. They did not see themselves as victims.

They blamed themselves for not having known better.

For having accepted their drinks.

For having trusted them to take care of them and respect them as they were saying no. As they were crying. After they blacked out.

And the only thing they wanted to do in the morning was to hide away and pretend it did not happen.

A pure walk of shame. 

So I am begging you ladies to go ahead and speak up. And if you can't do it on the spot, it is never too late. Trust your instincts. Remove toxic people from your life. Respect yourself and do not let anyone enter your intimacy without your consent.

There are too many stories of disrespect towards women, abuse, and sexual harassment.

My trick is to count the red flags:

- One red flag: be on your toes. Speak up.

- Two red flags: just walk away.

If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
Which red flags do you look for?
Self-Love is the New 30
Estimated reading time: 4'

Estimated reading time: 4'

When my sister turned thirty, I gave her a card that read:

"Turning 30 is a celebration of the free-to-be-yourself decade:

Feeling comfortable in your own skin,

Realizing you can do whatever you put your mind to,

Being surrounded by loving friends and family,

Knowing your deserve to be happy".

I am 29, so I was curious to hear her feedback on that description: she agreed 100%.

"As time passes, the more I know myself, and the better I feel about myself," she says, "it's not related to age. It's a journey.
Everyone is not necessarily comfortable in their own skin at 30. But what is certain is that time has a positive impact on our well-being.

We know what we love, and we choose to do what makes us feel good. We take more time to think about it and act upon it. It becomes a lifestyle, a wisdom almost. And if something does not please us, we change direction.

It seems simple, so why do so many of us remain in situations that do not suit us? A job? A relationship? Toxic habits?

I think the trigger was my independence. Most people have this revelation on average at 30, once they are out of school, have a stable situation, become financially independent. Relationships to our environment are freed from all these constraints and focus on the emotional, we preserve the long relationships, we have deeper, even more spiritual discussions.

For example, instead of investing only in ephemeral things as before (perfume, shoes, etc.), I also invest in sustainable things, like an apartment, it's quite revealing. When I eat, I try to eat well, whereas before I was swallowing potato crisps on my way home. I went back to sport ... So on.

I see. It is the age where one chooses one's life.

When I had my teenage crisis, it was difficult for me to differentiate between my desires, those of others and those of society. And how to get there when we do not recognize ourselves as individual, when we are still part of a group? At 30, we take independence from our social circle and our well-being is refocused on oneself .

On the other hand, attention not to be confused between being an individual and being an individualist! Others are essential to our happiness, be it in love, in friendship, or for any type of relationship.

The other day, I was listening to a podcast with sociologist Durkheim, explaining that the suicide rate was very low in united communities. I concluded that selfishness does not make happiness. To think about, know and accept oneself makes happiness, and once you've done that, you can direct your thoughts towards what the outside brings you and appreciate a good book, a painting, a meal, a person, or the contemplation of a landscape.

Self-love allows you to appreciate external pleasures better.

I have a small relaxation and beauty ritual that I practice every night without fail, for at least 45 minutes to do good to my body:

I start with a good hot shower with music, then I remove all the makeup and I put cream on every square millimeter of skin, from the toes to the neck, through the tips of the hair and the eyelashes, I stretch out, I make yoga greetings, I relax ...

Self-love is taking time for yourself.

The other day besides, at my yoga class, we were doing a stretching position and I was focusing on my body in motion and my breath.

The teacher said," Look at Pauline, she's in mindfulness!" He approached, crossed my feet behind my head and walked away.

Well, I found myself stuck and had to call for help (!), but the bottom line is that being satisfied with yourself and your body shell helps relieve tension as well!

To give a contradictory example, another participant was only giggling, scratching, dressing up, and so on. She could not let go, she could not just be there, feel the good waves, be satisfied with this moment of relaxation or the sun on her face.

Self-love is also consciousness of one's body.

Before, my happiness was defined exclusively in the intensity of the moment. Now I've realized that happiness is a global equilibrium, a sum of moments and emotions that fluctuate.

My relationship to time is different: when I was 15 years old, one year was 7% of my life. Today, one year is 3% of my life, it has nothing to do!
I am not afraid to grow old, but I am aware of having to develop and optimize my time. I do not want to waste it, so I become demanding.

I focus on the quality of relationships with others, and I surround myself with people I find exceptional. Of course we do not always have discussions of intellectuals, we also take pleasure in passing superficial moments! And sometimes we can not talk to each other, but just be together, and feel good".

Self-love is awareness of time.

In conclusion: you have to be the person you want to talk to... I would like to have the chance to be my best friend or my boyfriend, or my sister ... (laughs) Helene, do you confirm ?!☺ "

Are you a person you’d like to meet? What is your own definition of self-love?